I am Sorry. Please Forgive Me. Thank You. I love You.

Are you looking forward to the family gathering around the Thanksgiving table or do you feel anxious?

It’s become a well-known fact that families experience triggers and role-playing when they gather for this — what should be — special holiday. Family members tend to go down memory lane and the next thing you know there is an argument or disagreement about a situation that happened years ago. Then, role-playing rears its ugly head. The victim declares that a situation happened this way or that way. The  peacemaker (rescuer) steps in and pleads: “It’s Thanksgiving, let’s not bring this up again.” The proverbial black sheep (perpetrator) then pushes everyone’s buttons and off we go! Someone leaves the table. Mom or dad or whoever cooked the meal gets angry because they have put so much energy into making the day special, and ultimately, they feel disrespected.

If you can relate to this scenario or a similar one, do you ever wonder why this happens?

Knowing that our thoughts create our reality and reinforce that fact by providing everything we think about with intensity. If we’re dreading something or thinking too much about the past, it increases the likelihood that it will become a reoccurring pattern.  How do we heal from that and stop the dysfunctional patterns? Does it take one person, a majority or the entire family?

Most people want others to change. There is always someone else to blame for the dysfunction. It’s hard to believe that we are the sole creator of everything in our life.

Ancient cultures believed that discord begins with our ancestors — that dysfunctional family patterns are deeply rooted and passed on to offspring.  And, that ancestors influence our thoughts and behaviors.

Ancient rituals that honored our ancestors dates back more than 35 thousand years ago when Siberian tribes plead their ancestors for blessings, hunting support, good karma and to calm fierce weather patterns. We somehow lost this connection in modern culture.

However, current scientific research agrees that trauma can leave a chemical mark on a person’s genes, which then is passed down to subsequent generations. The mark doesn’t directly damage the gene; there’s no mutation. Instead, it alters the mechanism by which the gene is converted or expressed into functioning proteins.

It seems that science is catching up with ancient wisdom teachings and knowledge. I like to think that ancient healing methodologies and teachings work because they are still around! There are countless examples of miracle healings that take place using ancient healing methodologies and I will get into them in subsequent newsletters.

For now, remember your ancestors and send them love regardless of how they showed up in the world. No judgment — just love. Give thanks, simply because, without them, you would not be here today.

I like to use Hoʻoponopono, a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness, to transmute negative energy as it happens. The Hawaiian word ho’oponopono comes from ho’o (“to make”) and pono (“right”). The repetition of the word pono means “doubly right” or being right with both self and others. In a nutshell, ho’oponopono is a process by which we can forgive others to whom we are connected.

Think on the person with whom there is a conflict or who is being triggered and say these words to yourself:

1. Step one: Repentance – Say: “I am sorry.”
2. Step two: Ask forgiveness – Say: “Please forgive me.”
3. Step three: Gratitude – Say: “Thank you.”
4. Step four: Love – Say: “I love you.”

You will undoubtedly raise the frequency in the room with your positive intent and the ho’oponopono practice, and let’s not forget the effect it may have on your ancestors.

Happy Thanksgiving!

With love,
Marion Trent, Founder
https://SociopathicStyle.com
Workshops|Trainings|Guidance

 

Is Your Life A Journey?

Check out this video by Alan Watts. I have known this message, what seems like, all of my life. However, I have not heard it articulated this way before. I believe, that the most successful souls can be measured by how well they can see through the illusions that are continually thrust upon us, and by how well they have dropped the ego to expand their Light (Consciousness) and grow in Love, all the while knowing that we are ONE and that we take formulas (paths), ourselves and others WAY too seriously.

“Dance, when you’re broken open. Dance, if you’ve torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you’re perfectly free.” -Rumi

They’re Playing Your Song

singing-your-songWhen a woman in a certain African tribe knows she is pregnant, she goes out into the wilderness with a few friends and together they pray and meditate until they hear the song of the child. They recognize that every soul has its own vibration that expresses its unique flavor and purpose. When the women attune to the song, they sing it out loud. Then they return to the tribe and teach it to everyone else.

When the child is born, the community gathers and sings the child’s song to him or her. Later, when the child enters education, the village gathers and chants the child’s song. When the child passes through the initiation to adulthood, the people again come together and sing. At the time of marriage, the person hears his or her song. Finally, when the soul is about to pass from this world, the family and friends gather at the person’s bed, just as they did at their birth, and they sing the person to the next life.

When I have shared this story in my lectures, a fair amount of people in the audience come to tears. There is something inside each of us that knows we have a song, and we wish those we love would recognize it and support us to sing it. In some of my seminars I ask people to verbalize to a partner the one phrase they wish their parents had said to them as a child. Then the partner lovingly whispers it in their ear. This exercise goes very deep, and many significant insights start to click. How we all long to be loved, acknowledged, and accepted for who we are!

In the African tribe, there is one other occasion upon which the villagers sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around them. Then they sing their song to them. The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity. When you recognize your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another.

A friend is someone who knows your song and sings it to you when you have forgotten it. Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused. One summer when I was a teenager I went to visit my cousin and her family in Wilmington, Delaware. One afternoon she took me to the community pool, where I met a man who changed my life. Mr. Simmons talked to me for about 10 minutes. It wasn’t what he said that affected me so deeply; it was how he listened to me. He asked me questions about my life, my feelings, and my interests.

The unusual thing about Mr. Simmons was that he paid attention to my answers. Although I had family, friends, and teachers, this man was the only person in my world who seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say and valued me for who I was.

After our brief conversation, I never saw him again. I probably never will. I’m sure he had no idea that he gave me the gift of a lifetime. Maybe he was one of those angels who show up for a brief mission on earth, to give someone faith, confidence, and hope when they most need it.

If you do not give your song a voice, you will feel lost, alone, and confused. If you express it, you will come to life. We attract people on a similar wavelength so we can support each other to sing aloud. Sometimes we attract people who challenge us by telling us that we cannot or should not sing our song in public. Yet these people help us too, for they stimulate us to find a greater courage to sing it.

You may not have grown up in an African tribe that sings your song to you at crucial life transitions, but life is always reminding you when you are in tune with yourself and when you are not. When you feel good, what you are doing matches your song, and when you feel awful, it doesn’t. In the end, we shall all recognize our song and sing it well. You may feel a little warbly at the moment, but so have all the great singers. Just keep singing and you’ll find your way home.

by Alan Cohen, Author of Living from the Heart

Pema Chodron’s Heart Advice

ANY ENCOUNTER OFFERS US A CHOICE

“This is an idea that seems difficult for Westerners to accept: when someone harms us, they create the cause of their own suffering. They do this by strengthening habits that imprison them in a cycle of pain and confusion. It’s not that we are responsible for what someone else does, and certainly not that we should feel guilty. But when they harm us, we unintentionally become the means of their undoing. Had they looked on us with loving-kindness, however, we’d be the cause of their gathering virtue.

What I find helpful in this teaching is that what’s true for them is also true for me. The way I regard those who hurt me today will affect how I experience the world in the future. In any encounter, we have a choice: we can strengthen our resentment or our understanding and empathy. We can widen the gap between ourselves and others or lessen it.”

~From her book “No Time To Lose”

This passage presents a profound insight into the nature of human interactions and the choices we make in response to them. It highlights the cyclical nature of suffering, suggesting that when someone harms us, they are, in fact, sowing the seeds of their own suffering. This is because their actions reinforce destructive patterns that keep them trapped in a cycle of pain and confusion. The harm they inflict on others is not just an external act but a reflection of their inner turmoil, which will continue to manifest in their lives until they break free from these habits.

The teaching also emphasizes that we are not responsible for the actions of others, nor should we feel guilt for the harm done to us. Instead, it offers a different perspective: when we are harmed, we inadvertently become a catalyst for the other person’s suffering, not out of malice, but because their harmful actions further entrench their own pain. Conversely, if they were to approach us with love and kindness, they would be cultivating virtue and positive karma, which would ultimately lead to their own well-being.

This idea, though challenging to accept, can be deeply liberating. It shifts the focus from a sense of victimhood to an understanding of the broader dynamics at play in human interactions. The real power of this teaching lies in its application to ourselves. Just as those who harm us are creating their future experiences, so too are we shaping our own reality through our responses to the people and situations we encounter.

Every interaction we have, especially those that involve conflict or harm, presents us with a crucial choice. We can choose to react with anger, resentment, and a desire for retribution, thereby reinforcing our own suffering and perpetuating a cycle of negativity. Or, we can choose to respond with understanding, empathy, and compassion, which not only heals us but also breaks the cycle of pain.

By recognizing this choice, we take responsibility for our own inner state and the impact we have on the world around us. We understand that the way we treat others, even in the face of harm, will influence how we experience the world in the future. We have the power to either widen the gap between ourselves and others, fueling division and discord, or to bridge that gap, fostering connection and healing.

In essence, this teaching invites us to see every encounter as an opportunity for growth and transformation. It challenges us to rise above our immediate reactions and to cultivate the qualities of understanding and empathy that can transform our lives and the lives of those around us. It’s a call to mindful living, where every moment and every interaction is a chance to choose a path that leads to greater peace, both within ourselves and in the world.

Some of Our Favorite Quotes

It has been said that the greatest souls awaken through suffering. Suffering is not always a curse. Darkness shows us aspects of ourselves that need work, which may not have been exposed to us if the Universe had not sent this suffering in the first place. The greatest prayer you could make would to not ask the Source or Universe to take the suffering away from you, but to instead have faith that everything that happens in your life is only happening to stimulate your spiritual evolution. Thank the Universe for sending you that suffering to help you grow and evolve, both spiritually and emotionally. All experience is a blessing and happens for a reason, so don’t be afraid to feel it and learn from it. Liberate yourself from the prison of your own thoughts. You are in control. Awaken to the beauty in each moment, and move from panic to freedom.
-Spirit Science and Metaphysics


Those who have not found their true wealth, which is the radiant joy of Being and the deep, unshakable peace that comes with it, are beggars, even if they have great material wealth. They are looking outside for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security, or love, while they have a treasure within that not only includes all those things but is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer.
-Eckhart Tolle, “The Power of Now”


I am willing to put myself through anything; temporary pain or discomfort means nothing to me as long as I can see that the experience will take me to a new level. I am interested in the unknown, and the only path to the unknown is through breaking barriers, an often-painful process.
– Diana Nyad


I am in competition with no-one. I run my own race. I have no desire to play the game of being better than anyone, in any way, shape or form. I just aim to improve, to be better than I was before. That’s me and I am free.
-Unknown


Pay close attention to the particular thoughts you use to deprive yourself of happiness.
-Byron Katie


I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.
-Robin Williams


There is no coming to consciousness without pain.
-Carl Jung


Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
-Rumi


Help ever. Hurt never.
-Sri Kaleshwar


Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest. ― Sri Chinmoy


All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.
-don Miguel Ruiz