Are you looking forward to the family gathering around the Thanksgiving table or do you feel anxious?
It’s become a well-known fact that families experience triggers and role-playing when they gather for this — what should be — special holiday. Family members tend to go down memory lane and the next thing you know there is an argument or disagreement about a situation that happened years ago. Then, role-playing rears its ugly head. The victim declares that a situation happened this way or that way. The peacemaker (rescuer) steps in and pleads: “It’s Thanksgiving, let’s not bring this up again.” The proverbial black sheep (perpetrator) then pushes everyone’s buttons and off we go! Someone leaves the table. Mom or dad or whoever cooked the meal gets angry because they have put so much energy into making the day special, and ultimately, they feel disrespected.
If you can relate to this scenario or a similar one, do you ever wonder why this happens?
Knowing that our thoughts create our reality and reinforce that fact by providing everything we think about with intensity. If we’re dreading something or thinking too much about the past, it increases the likelihood that it will become a reoccurring pattern. How do we heal from that and stop the dysfunctional patterns? Does it take one person, a majority or the entire family?
Most people want others to change. There is always someone else to blame for the dysfunction. It’s hard to believe that we are the sole creator of everything in our life.
Ancient cultures believed that discord begins with our ancestors — that dysfunctional family patterns are deeply rooted and passed on to offspring. And, that ancestors influence our thoughts and behaviors.
Ancient rituals that honored our ancestors dates back more than 35 thousand years ago when Siberian tribes plead their ancestors for blessings, hunting support, good karma and to calm fierce weather patterns. We somehow lost this connection in modern culture.
However, current scientific research agrees that trauma can leave a chemical mark on a person’s genes, which then is passed down to subsequent generations. The mark doesn’t directly damage the gene; there’s no mutation. Instead, it alters the mechanism by which the gene is converted or expressed into functioning proteins.
It seems that science is catching up with ancient wisdom teachings and knowledge. I like to think that ancient healing methodologies and teachings work because they are still around! There are countless examples of miracle healings that take place using ancient healing methodologies and I will get into them in subsequent newsletters.
For now, remember your ancestors and send them love regardless of how they showed up in the world. No judgment — just love. Give thanks, simply because, without them, you would not be here today.
I like to use Hoʻoponopono, a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness, to transmute negative energy as it happens. The Hawaiian word ho’oponopono comes from ho’o (“to make”) and pono (“right”). The repetition of the word pono means “doubly right” or being right with both self and others. In a nutshell, ho’oponopono is a process by which we can forgive others to whom we are connected.
Think on the person with whom there is a conflict or who is being triggered and say these words to yourself:
1. Step one: Repentance – Say: “I am sorry.”
2. Step two: Ask forgiveness – Say: “Please forgive me.”
3. Step three: Gratitude – Say: “Thank you.”
4. Step four: Love – Say: “I love you.”
You will undoubtedly raise the frequency in the room with your positive intent and the ho’oponopono practice, and let’s not forget the effect it may have on your ancestors.
Marion Trent, Founder