Ten Red Flags That You Are With An ASP

Most people have ignored the warning signs or red flags, that appear early on in a relationship with an antisocial person.

Here are the most obvious — and most likely — red flags that appear within 3-6 months of the relationship, sometimes much sooner. Your potential mate/friend:

1. Valued and quickly devalued you depending on how much, or how little, he/she can control your behavior; especially your behavior towards other people. For example, he or she may perceive someone significant in your life as a potential threat and will manipulate situations to cause you to doubt that friend or family member. He or she will try to build mistrust in you, and then quickly turn around and “save you” from the situation he/she created. Or, he will blatantly demand whom you can or cannot like or love.

NOTE: Pay close attention when he shares situations from past relationships.  It’s highly likely that your relationship will end up looking like his previous relationships. Every relationship picks up where the last one left off. Take your time before you get intimate. It makes things easier if the relationship doesn’t work out. How long should you wait? The short answer is at least 6 months.

2. He tells you straight-up he’s antisocial. No one who is mentally and emotionally stable will call himself an antisocial. Unless you crave a wild and bumpy ride in your relationship, throw this fish back in the water and find love elsewhere.

3. See how he lives. Is his house cluttered, or a pig sty? Lots going on within when someone hoards and lives in filth. “As within, so without,”

4. He uses the system and doesn’t repay debts. Has a sense of entitlement.

5. Tries to micro-manage people in his life. He’s controlling  and acts like he’s the only caring one in the relationship or household.

6. Perceives the world in a very peculiar way. There is no winning for losing. He won’t compromise with you. End. Of. Discussion.

7.  His responses don’t match what is going on in the room. For example, it’s early morning and you get up first. You’re sitting at your computer He walks in and you cheerfully say: “Good morning!” He, in turn, is frowning and doesn’t reply. Instead, he might start some unrelated dialogue because…

8. He lives in his paranoid mind more than in the real world or any rational world for that matter.

9. Most of your actions are met with suspicion or opposition.  Example: Watching a cute and wholesome video on YouTube featuring a friend of the opposite sex might be seen as you being completely obsessed or infatuated with your friend.  All the explaining in the world won’t change his mind. Does he really believe it, or is he trying to control your happy mood by bringing you down to his level? WHO CARES! Get away from someone who is a harmful, toxic person. Love him from a distance. Wish him well and move on.

10. You are constantly walking on egg shells and have to justify your words and actions. Then, you’re told not to justify yourself. You never know what you’re going to get. Ever. It’s a mystery why he acts the way he does,  but the most important thing is to remember that you will never be able to be yourself. Ever.  Do you want that type of relationship?

Narcissists and Facebook

Older narcissists gravitate toward Facebook. “It’s about curating your own image, how you are seen, and also checking on how others respond to this image. Middle-aged adults usually have already formed their social selves, and they use social media to gain approval from those who are already in their social circles,” said co-lead researcher Elliot Panek.

University of Georgia study: “Narcissists are using Facebook the same way they use their other relationships — for self-promotion with an emphasis on quantity over quality.” (September, 2008)

York University study: “Individuals higher in narcissism and lower in self-esteem spent more time on the site and filled their pages with more self-promotional content.” Psychology student and researcher Soraya Mehdizadeh said, “They’re updating their status every five minutes and the photos they post are very carefully construed… The question is, are these really accurate representations of the individual or are they merely a projection of who the individual wants to be?” (September, 2010)

Western Illinois University study: “Grandiose exhibitionism correlated with self-promotion and entitlement/exploitativeness correlated with anti-social behaviors on Facebook.” Researchers found those who scored higher on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory changed their profile photo and posted status updates more often. They also displayed “several anti-social behaviors, including seeking social support more than providing it, getting angry when others do not comment on status updates and retaliating against negative comments.” (March, 2012)

http://www.hlntv.com/article/2013/06/17/social-media-narcissism-twitter-facebook-studies