Is Sociopathy on the Rise?

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My recent survey, taken by 100 people, has revealed the following:

Q: Do you think that sociopathy is on the rise?
1) YES: 85%
2) NO: 3%
3) NOT SURE: 10%
4) SKIPPED the question: 2%

Q: Where do you think sociopathy is most prevalent?
1) WORLD AFFAIRS: 7%
2) POLITICS: 28%
3) WORK PLACE: 8%
4) COMMUNITY: 1%
5) PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS: 34%
6) OTHER (Every response said ALL OF THE ABOVE): 21%

Apparently, the majority feels the same. Sociopathy is on the rise. I had the idea to form a weekly or monthly study group online, that anyone could attend from anywhere in the world. It would offer private video access for a nominal fee. I would invite guests, now and again, who are experts in the field to share their work, in addition to my own work. Please offer your feedback about the idea via email: marion@sociopathicstyle.com

Thank you,
Marion Trent

Love Cooperates. Fear Competes.

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People with personality disorders do not like to cooperate. They have a deep commitment to withholding truth, facts and promises. They do not like to empower others and do not like to give credit where credit is due. Lying comes very naturally and without remorse.

letting-goThey avoid honest and open communication. They are the ones who hang up on us because they do not allow others the freedom and right of expressing their own feelings and thoughts. They are deeply afraid and do not feel love authentically. Their love is shallow and conditional, which is not connected to all living beings. Typically, these types insult and shame us. They do not help us save face, especially when they want to have some form of control over us, or try to make us feel lesser than. If called upon as witness to truth that could exonerate someone, they may say something like, “I really don’t want to get involved.”

They lack integrity and grace and are filled with immense judgement and disregard for the well-being of other human beings. They love to triangulate. It makes them feel powerful to have that much self-imposed, artificial control over others. They may treat their animals better than family members.

After decades of studying and teaching, I see all antisocial personalities as being asleep in their own reality, which on some level gives them what they need to sustain themselves. Perhaps it makes them feel more alive, being that they are the archetype of either the walking dead or the vampires who feed on the Light of others.

From what I have witnessed throughout the years, and others have shared with me, they possess a low spiritual and/or emotional IQ. They tend to gravitate toward the fleeting satisfaction of materialism and plow their way through the hearts and lives of the people who are touched by them. They seem unable to control their impulses to destroy people’s good works, reputations, families and relationships. Very rarely do they have their own legs to stand on. They need others to prop them up, financially and otherwise.

We have all wanted to shake them to wake them up and show them that there is an easier and more fulfilling way to live. It seems like they don’t understand the meaning of the words: Love. Respect. Loyalty. Honor. It’s a lost cause. Leave it alone. Focus on building your own beautiful life and don’t confront them with their lies. People know. Or, they eventually figure it out. You don’t have to justify yourself. Give it to the Universe. One day,they may awaken through tremendous amounts of loss and pain, or their own voluntary spiritual development. Maybe it will take lifetimes, who knows? So, do yourself a favor. Don’t wait for it.

Nailed It!

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I just happened to scroll through my newsfeed on Facebook, and saw a post from Anne Rice. It’s an article that explains the Sociopathic Style in a different — yet also profound — way. It nails the relationship dynamic to a tee!  Read. Learn. Spread the information.

Empathic People Are Natural Targets For Sociopaths

The empathy trap: therapists and counselors almost by definition are empathic, to facilitate clients’ recovery – but this quality can mean those carers are targets for sociopaths, aided by what Dr Jane & Tim McGregor call “apaths”. The first UK article on this cruel sport shows how to identify and thus avoid it.

People targeted by a sociopath often respond with self-deprecating comments like “I was stupid”, “what was I thinking” of “I should’ve listened to my gut instinct”. But being involved with a sociopath is like being brainwashed. The sociopath’s superficial charm is usually the means by which s/he conditions people.

On initial contact, a sociopath will often test other people’s empathy, so questions geared towards discovering if you are highly empathic or not should ring alarm bells. People with a highly empathic disposition are often targeted. Those with lower levels of empathy are often passed over, though they can be drawn in and used by sociopaths as part of their cruel entertainment.

Sociopaths make up 25% of the prison population, committing over twice as many aggressive acts as other criminals. The reoffending rate of sociopaths is about double that of other offenders, and for violent crimes it is triple.

But not all sociopaths are found in prison. There is the less-visible burden of sociopath-induced emotional trauma which, if left unchecked, can lead to anxiety disorders, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Chronically traumatized people often exhibit hyper-vigilant, anxious and agitated behavior, symptoms such as tension headaches, gastrointestinal disturbances, abdominal pain, back pain, tremors and nausea.

Exposure to and interaction with a sociopath in childhood can leave lifelong scars. This can apply to people in therapy – and for those who in recovery trained as therapists, re-exposure as an adult can trigger old emotions and PTSD.

This article is not about sociopaths per se but about surviving the harm they cause.

EVERYDAY SOCIOPATHS

Many sociopaths wreak havoc in a covert way, so that their underlying condition remains hidden for years. They can possess a superficial charm, and this diverts attention from disturbing aspects of their nature.

The following case history illustrates how people can be systematically targeted until they feel they can barely trust their own sense of reality – what we call “gaslighting”. Sociopathic abuse is targeted abuse. It can wreck lives. Victims can become survivors, but at huge cost.

At school, ‘James’ took a dislike to a classmate, ‘Sam’, who was sensitive and popular. He would mock him for auditioning for the school play or for getting upset over failing a test. The situation deteriorated when it became known that Sam’s parents were separating. Sam appeared to be taking it with fortitude, to the admiration of his peers. He also got attention and sympathy from the school staff, especially James’ favourite teacher: ie, the one he manipulated most easily.

James decided on a plan of covert bullying. He started a whispering campaign implying that Sam’s parents were not splitting up, that he had said they were in order to seek attention. Sadly, this was all too successful and over the next few days Sam was met with silence and verbal bullying from his hitherto-supportive classmates.

James continued his campaign, targeting Sam’s close friends over the next few days. They found themselves accused of misdemeanours such as sending offensive emails/texts. Then the ‘favourite’ teacher went on “leave with immediate effect” after accusations of assaulting a pupil. Where had the accusations come from? Guess.

This case shows how deliberately sociopaths, from a young age, can target others. Taking advantage of people’s credibility and goodwill, James exploited the situation. With a more perceptive head teacher, this sociopath might have been found out, but he knew who to manipulate and how far he could go.

MORE: http://www.sott.net/article/268449-Empathic-people-are-natural-targets-for-sociopaths-protect-yourself

5 Things About the “Unteachable Ones”

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Who are the “Unteachable Ones” and how will you recognize them?

The Unteachable OnesThey are the people in your life that tend to speak the three most dangerous words in the English language: “I KNOW THAT!”  Sometimes, it sounds like this: “I already knew that!” “So what? I already know that!”  “I do that already, and I have for years!” They live in a house of cards. Yes, or yes? Always projecting that they have that knowledge, which they really don’t. The proof arrives instantaneously when they are asked and can’t answer the question, even though — per them — it’s been a life-long learning. Doesn’t matter what the subject is. They know it all. You get the picture.

A person who has a huge commitment level to the Sociopathic Style is difficult to teach. It is also very hard to share success stories with them, as they are simply going to say something like, “Great!” They will never ask you, “Tell me more about what you learned.” “Wow, it sounds like you learned a lot.” “What an achievement! Congratulations!”

Nope!  You will never hear anything like that from an Unteachable One.

Here are 5 traits that may help you recognize Unteachable Ones:

1. Someone who feels weak and not in their power tends — or tries — to steal energy from someone who is in their power. When given the opportunity to learn something new, they immediately feel inferior and shut down, walk away, or talk about you behind your back to take you down a notch.

2. They know everything, and much better than you! “Okay, go ahead. Explain yourself and tell me what you know,” they might say while they roll their eyes, sigh, yawn or act completely disinterested in what you are saying. They may ask the question and then interrupt you with something completely irrelevant.

3. Are they really interested in what you know, or what you just learned or experienced? Probably not. People who have  a high commitment level to the Sociopathic Style believe you don’t exist. Your excitement leaves them cold, because  they, themselves, can’t feel or access their own inner core other than feeling jealous. So, how in the heck can they relate to you?   Only through deep, inner resentment that has been festering for years, decades or an entire lifetime.

4. They tend to be jealous people, so if you know more than they, they will try to knock you off your pedestal. Whether to your face with their rudeness, or back-biting.

5.  They may secretly admire you or what you stand for. Hence, they will mimic you and pass on the things you teach them, claiming them as their own. They tend to steal the credit away from you because they don’t want your head to swell, or some such nonsense. They may belittle and shame you by yawning, acting disinterested or make faces while you try to communicate with them. But, alas! They go out and share with others the things they heard you say.  Catchphrases, knowledge, spiritual quotes.  It doesn’t matter what it is. They may try to steal your entire personality, for that matter.  (See the movie, “The Talented Mr. Ripley.”) Scary stuff.

People ask me, “How can we stop these hideous, little monsters?”

You don’t. And, you shouldn’t want to.

The best thing to do is don’t confront them and walk — or run — if you can, far and wide and be with the people who know how to love, uplift and inspire you. Because we all know by now, they do not know how to empower others. From an energetic perspective, once you really get to know them, it feels like they are dead inside. There is no authenticity in their personality.  They have often been called: “Empty, hollow shells.”

Lastly, believe me when I say this — they can not steal anything from you when you have enough Light in you. Light is abundant and unlimited. They may try to dim your Light, but without your permission, they can’t do SQUAT.

Shine on!

With love,
Marion

Ten Red Flags That You Are With An ASP

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Most people have ignored the warning signs or red flags, that appear early on in a relationship with an antisocial person.

Here are the most obvious — and most likely — red flags that appear within 3-6 months of the relationship, sometimes much sooner. Your potential mate/friend:

1. Valued and quickly devalued you depending on how much, or how little, he/she can control your behavior; especially your behavior towards other people. For example, he or she may perceive someone significant in your life as a potential threat and will manipulate situations to cause you to doubt that friend or family member. He or she will try to build mistrust in you, and then quickly turn around and “save you” from the situation he/she created. Or, he will blatantly demand whom you can or cannot like or love.

NOTE: Pay close attention when he shares situations from past relationships.  It’s highly likely that your relationship will end up looking like his previous relationships. Every relationship picks up where the last one left off. Take your time before you get intimate. It makes things easier if the relationship doesn’t work out. How long should you wait? The short answer is at least 6 months.

2. He tells you straight-up he’s antisocial. No one who is mentally and emotionally stable will call himself an antisocial. Unless you crave a wild and bumpy ride in your relationship, throw this fish back in the water and find love elsewhere.

3. See how he lives. Is his house cluttered, or a pig sty? Lots going on within when someone hoards and lives in filth. “As within, so without,”

4. He uses the system and doesn’t repay debts. Has a sense of entitlement.

5. Tries to micro-manage people in his life. He’s controlling  and acts like he’s the only caring one in the relationship or household.

6. Perceives the world in a very peculiar way. There is no winning for losing. He won’t compromise with you. End. Of. Discussion.

7.  His responses don’t match what is going on in the room. For example, it’s early morning and you get up first. You’re sitting at your computer He walks in and you cheerfully say: “Good morning!” He, in turn, is frowning and doesn’t reply. Instead, he might start some unrelated dialogue because…

8. He lives in his paranoid mind more than in the real world or any rational world for that matter.

9. Most of your actions are met with suspicion or opposition.  Example: Watching a cute and wholesome video on YouTube featuring a friend of the opposite sex might be seen as you being completely obsessed or infatuated with your friend.  All the explaining in the world won’t change his mind. Does he really believe it, or is he trying to control your happy mood by bringing you down to his level? WHO CARES! Get away from someone who is a harmful, toxic person. Love him from a distance. Wish him well and move on.

10. You are constantly walking on egg shells and have to justify your words and actions. Then, you’re told not to justify yourself. You never know what you’re going to get. Ever. It’s a mystery why he acts the way he does,  but the most important thing is to remember that you will never be able to be yourself. Ever.  Do you want that type of relationship?

My Ex’s Current Girlfriend Contacted Me.

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This is a question that comes up frequently in my work.

So, you’ve moved on and blessed your ex’s new relationship. You and the new girlfriend may have never met in person or otherwise. Months go by, and I am guessing the six-month mark is approaching and the new girlfriend is waking up to the fact that there is something very wrong with her relationship. She may not know about sociopaths or people committed to the Sociopathic Style of relating. She’s confused. She needs answers or closure, so she does a little research and finds you online and contacts you.

What is the correct way to respond?

First, you need to set your intention to help and — not further hurt — the person who is making contact. Moreover, you don’t want to hurt yourself with the exchange of information.  Do not jump in and share all the negativity and/or get into a “Schadenfreude” mode.

I believe it’s okay to share and, in some ways it’s our duty, to bring some light to someone’s suffering and to help them get confirmation or closure.

Under the aforementioned circumstances, I would do the following:

  • I would meditate for guidance and set my good intentions.
  • I would respond with empathy because I understand what she is going through.
  • I would validate her experiences.
  • I would not let what she shares affect me in any way.
  • I would steer the conversation in a positive way should she start to tell me things that I do not care to know about; i.e. more of his lies about me.
  • I would keep the conversation centered around her and very little on me since I have moved on from that experience.
  • I would keep what I share “academic” and based on facts.
  • I would not rehash all the negativity.
  • If she has a lot of questions, I would help her find the answers for herself, opposed to me offering answers from my own experiences.
  • I would focus on the upside on why the person came into our lives and what we can learn from the relationship.
  • I would share my “recovery journey” only in bullet points, and the positive things that have happened in my life since he and I parted ways.
  • I would watch the clock and give the conversation no more than 30 minutes.
  • I would wish her well and remain as we are; meaning not become friends over him or her situation.
  • I would keep our correspondence and/or conversation confidential.

I think it’s a bad idea to contact a new partner of an ex, but if the new partner contacts you, I think it’s fine to offer well-intended, helpful guidance.  In the sociopathic way of relating, there is a lot of confusion, gaslighting, manipulation, verbal  and emotional abuse, betrayal and pathological lying present that makes the “victim” feel crazy. It helps to know that there is someone who cares and understands — who can help one out of the fog without judgment and more drama. Remember to stay in love-based communication and don’t engage in the power triangle.

Don’t let people pull you into their storm; instead, pull them into your PEACE.